$2 Bills, Satan and CEOs who do it right

- Deep inside we're all cheap bastards who love getting a bargain. A perfect example is Tower shutting down. That place was packed with people trying to get a deal on shit that was still more expensive at 10% off than it is at Best Buy or Target. So I'm sure that when you heard the $2 Bill tour was coming through town, you almost crapped your pants (Oops, I crapped my pants!). Who wouldn't pay $2 to see sexy Leto along with Cobra Starship and Head Automatica (assuming they don't pull out like they do every other damn tour)? So start scraping together your change because you're going to need it......to cover the order fees....for the $23.50 ticket. Oh, I'm sorry, did you think the $2 Bill tour was actually going to cost you $2??? Just because one of the bands was on the 'Snakes On A Plane' soundtrack, #1 on the list of 'Names That Provide Full Disclosure', doesn't mean that the $2 Bill tour is actually going to cost $2. You dumbass.
Other tours coming your way soon:

Slipknot on the 'No Smelly, Fat Kids in Boots Allowed' Tour

Fall Out Boy on the 'Just Like They Sound On CD' Tour

Guns N Roses on the 'Starting at 9:30 Sharp!' Tour

and NoFX headlining 'We Don't Talk Between Songs'

- Alkaline Trio has signed a deal with V2. Good for them, although I don't remember V2 being listed as a label we recommend. Now they can blow up, just like Sugarcult. Errrr...
Here's Skiba looking all Satanic and shit. He's so badass....

- Finally, Page Six in the New York Times has an article about Capitol Records and the problems their employees have with their President and CEO, Andy Slater. Apparently they're calling for his firing because as one source says,

"There are core artists like Bonnie Raitt and Roseanne Cash who are just being ignored. The feeling is [Slater] just let them die. Then there are artists like Morning Wood, which is going nowhere." The source adds that Slater is often unreachable and comes into the office late: "He's out at night at clubs and partying with girls."

I'll just leave the whole Bonnie Raitt and Roseanne Cash BS alone. I would ignore their wrinkled old asses too. And I don't know about you, but I don't see a problem with going out everynight and partying with girls. Based on the above statements, he should get a damn raise. Sounds to me like he's doing everything RIGHT. Actually, before making that statement I'd like to make sure he has a giant mound of blow covering his desk.

The best part of the article comes at the end when they say that Slater's successes include LeToya, Cherish, OK GO! and Saosin. I take back what I said, fire his ass.

- Black -

Peace Out Tower

Most of you have heard of Tower Records. For those who aren't familiar with it, Tower has been around since 1960, has over 90 stores nationwide and is considered by many to be a part of music history. That's great and all, unless you're not paying your bills. Tower is currently in debt for about $200 million dollars, some of which is to major labels. As a result, they filed for bankruptcy and on Friday were sold for $130 million. The purchasing company has already started liquidating their assets in preparation for closing all their stores and firing all 3000+ Tower employees. (Yes, they're closing the location on Sunset too. Feel free to buy that shit, it'll only run you about $12 million.)

In its bankruptcy filing, Tower said they've "been hurt by an industry-wide decline in music sales, the trend toward downloading online music rather than buying CDs and competition from discount stores such as Wal-Mart." That probbaly could have been summed up by saying, 'nobody wants to buy albums from us for $18.99'. Everyone bitches about the Wal-Marts of the world, but the bottom line is that you either compete or you pack your bags. It's VERY complicated but I'll try and break it down. You want the new 30 Seconds to Mars CD because Jared Leto is hot. You can either go to Target and buy it for $7.88, Best Buy for $13.99 or you could go to Tower and buy it for $18.99. It takes a fucking math major to figure out the better deal here, but safe to say Tower ain't getting any business. Now don't get me wrong, 3,000 people losing their job sucks and when music stores get shut down everyone is sad. However, usually it's the small indie store on the corner, not a huge retailer. End result is that I'm not too broken up about this.

As part of their liquidation, they're having a 'Going Out Of Business' sale, which started on Saturday. All music will be marked down 10 percent, all books 20 percent and all magazines 30 percent. Sounds like a good deal huh??? That's what I thought, so I stopped by to check it out. Usually a sale such as this is a great place to find a bargain, but in true Tower style there wasn't a deal to be seen. All the 'sale' prices on the front of the CDs have been ripped off and they're selling everything for the suggested retail price. As I mentioned before, 30 Seconds to Mars was $18.99, Cartel - Chroma was $16.99, New Found Glory - Coming Home was $14.99. Wow, 10% off of $16.99 gets you down to $15 and some change. With tax you're back up to $16. What a deal.

Bottom line, Tower got what it deserved. You can't charge twice market value for a product and then act surprised when everyone buys it from the guy offering it for half as much. Apparently I'm very advanced, because I learned that in high school. Good riddance Tower, RIP bitches.

That's it for now. I have more, but I'll hit you with it later. And rather than leave you with some boring picture of a Tower Records sign, here's a picture of the singer from the Italian band Lacuna Coil. If Chainsaw liked chicks, he'd be all about her.



Out.

- Black -

macbeth is funny / hot chick

hi kids -

not too much to report, so watch this. shit is funny.



don't know if you like their clothes and shoes or not, but they make some funny ads.

ok...time for another new feature. when things are slow around here, i'm just gonna post a hot chick. every other site does this except with jessica simpson and her sister, (looking at you wwtdd) so i will go a little less pop. here goes.



i know, i kinda have a thing for girls that can kick my ass. so what. brody rules, even though she fucked up timmy armstrong so much he put good charlotte and kelly osporn in a fucking rancid video. oh well.

i guess thats it. expect a post from black soon saying how i like brody because she looks like a dude or something.

chainsaw

LyingInTraffic kept me from signing to a shitty label

- Gabe Saporta from Midtown/Cobra Starship recently responded to a post on Absolutepunk.net where he discussed his reasoning for turning down a $500,000 advance from Columbia to sign with Dick/Peter/Willy/Wang Wentz's label Decaydance. To sum up what he said, Midtown wrote a great record and Columbia helped run it into the ground. As a result, when it came time for Cobra Starship to sign, he decided to go with Decaydance:

"Because I want to be able to make music for a long time. I want to have a career. I don't need to be rich doing it, but I would love to be able to make a living. And I know that the people that will be working with me at Fueled by Ramen and Decaydance understand where I'm coming from and where I want to go. If I stayed where I was, I would have gotten a fat check upfront, but that would have probably been the end of my career. Here, I'm getting nothing upfront, but I'm getting people who believe in me and know how to help me have a career."

I think time will show that Gabe made one of the smartest moves of his career. If there's one thing you don't want to do if you're in a punk/emo/hardcore/screamo/blahblahblah band, it's sign to Sony/BMG. Or EMI. Or Hollywood. Or Drive Thru. Bottom line, sign to UMG or WMG.

Bullshit, you say? Columbia is part of Sony/BMG. Lostprophets, Midtown, Acceptance, Coheed, A Static Lullaby. All bands that signed to Columbia and have a following within the scene. Also bands who probably would have had great success if they were on Geffen or Reprise, but who did not meet expectations. If you sound like Beyonce or The Dixie Chicks, you're golden. If not, you're fucked. Same goes for Capitol. Saosin, From First to Last, Yellowcard. We'll see what the future holds for Saosin, but with the limited promo and ANOTHER performance video, it won't do as well as it could with the right backing.

The other side of the coin? AFI, +44, New Found Glory, blink-182, Fall Out Boy, ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS! All on Universal and all very successful. Warner? My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, Story of the Year, The Used, Green Day. Same story. It's easy, there are labels that can take your record and dip it in gold or platinum and there's labels who will put you in the studio and then go back to hyping Coldplay and fucking Morningwood.

Indies? As much as I hate to admit it Victory will at least help you sell your shit. You might not get paid for it, but you'll sell records. Back in the day the same could be said for Drive Thru but Richard and Stephanie have pissed off so many bands and started signing 'bands that are different and what we like', so they're on the 'dude, don't sign with them' list.

I know this is long, but it's something Chainsaw and I talked about and something that we wanted to mention. It's not that hard to figure out, but unfortunately a lot of bands don't get it.

- Speaking of Saosin not selling records, do them a favor and go pick it up. It's $5.99 at Best Buy. If you can't afford that, go trade in all six of your NoFX records.....then ask to borrow $4.00 from someone.

- Kasabian singer Tom Meighan has spit some shit about 'emo' bands like MCR, FOB and PATD!, as well as Justin Timberlake.

"I keep hearing how emo music is bringing kids together and that it's got these positive messages and all that, but if it's damaging teenagers and if it's making them depressed, how can that be a good thing? All it causes is moaning teenagers. There's nothing positive from it. It may upset people, but emo is dead in my eyes. F**k emo. Just enjoy the world."

As for Justin?

"He's a midget with whiskers who is just trying to be black. He's a puppet in a million-dollar suit who's had his strings cut off. It's just money music. Absolute rubbish. You can smell the money coming off it. He's a k**bhead."



Just to be clear, the dude on the left is talking shit about how JT looks. Wow.

Listen here redcoat, if there's anything that depresses people it's opening the jewel case of the CD they just bought to find the steaming turd that your band keeps stuffing in there. Here's an idea, why don't you stick to ripping off Oasis on CD and leave the shit-talking to the OGs Noel and Liam. Trust me, the last thing I ever want to do is defend bands like Fall Out Boy or Panic!, but as the saying goes, 'If a really shitty band talks shit about a less shitty band, the less shitty band wins.' Oh yeah, Kasabian is on Sony/BMG too. Case in point.

- Finally, a couple of videos fo' dat ass.
First off, the new +44 video 'When Your Heart Stops Beating'. Not as good as Angels and Airwaves, but less hype by the dudes in the band. Result? Kids like +44 more. (And yes, Mark is wearing a Famous shirt in the video. G-A-Y.)



Next, Oprah pumping gas. I'm well aware that this isn't music related, but video of Oprah pumping gas(or not knowing how to pump gas, as the case may be) is funny shit. I mean I understand that you haven't done it in 20 years, but we're not talking about trying to play Halo or some shit. I'm sure if you someone put 4 meatball sandwiches in front of you you'd still remember how to cram them in your mouth.
Last time I heard 'Oprah' and 'pump' in the same conversation was Chainsaw talking about 'pumping Oprah all night long while Steadman watches.' Gross.



That's it for now. Out.

- Black -